How to Help.

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So many of you have reached out to ask how you can help. Thank you. It has become so clear that Francis and Adeline and their families have a massive network of loving people around them. Watching a friend or a loved one work through grief can make you feel helpless, so we’ve compiled this list of a few things you can do during this time to support Adeline, the kids, Francis’ family, and each other…

  • Memories. One of the hardest things we've had to come to terms with, is the fact that Francis won't be here to watch his kids grow up. To sing ridiculous songs with them, share tidbits of wisdom, or just be his smiling, active self in their presence. Frank left a few videos for the kids, and there are the many beautiful memories from photos and videos and everything that was shared on the Kudoboard

    As a way for Félix, Oscar, and Zella to know their father, their friend Megan is putting together memory books for each of them. This is different from the Kudoboard, which was for Frank, and is specifically for the kids to read in the future. If you are able to contribute something, this would be in the form of a story about Frank that you would like to share with them, a letter to each of them or to them collectively about who their father was, photos, poems, etc. These can be sent to mccann.megan@gmail.com . Word documents are easiest and please make sure that photos are of a decent quality (i.e.: 300 pixels/inch)

    As mentioned in Adeline’s message previously, you can also continue to send items for a memory box directly to her (though these will not be included in the Megan’s books). Please contact Stacey or Mara for the address in Seattle.

  • Blood, platelet, stem cell donation. One of the main requests from Adeline and Francis was for those who are able to give blood or platelets, or are eligible to join the stem cell registry, to please consider doing so (pandemic considerations applying, of course). From the stem cell transplant onwards, Francis was quite dependent on both red blood cells and platelets, needing at least one or more transfusions a week. The fact that the family did not need to worry about the supply of these blood products is in large part due to the volunteers who continued to give blood during the pandemic, and for that, we are forever grateful. Here are some links to resources for blood, plasma, platelet and stem cell donations in various locations:

  • Monetary Donations. For those wishing to make a monetary donation, please consider your favourite charity, or an organisation that has gone through hardship during these times. Adeline has expressed how she and Francis felt and continue to feel extremely supported and loved during this period, and that they would like to share this support and kindness forward. She has mentioned the many great donations made in celebration of their wedding in 2013, and she is looking forward to hearing about all the worthwhile organisations that you assist in memory of Francis.

    Also in the world of monetary donations, our GoFundMe is still active. The funds are being used to cover the outstanding medical bills and funeral arrangements for Francis, and any remaining amount will be used to support Adeline and the kids during this difficult time.

  • Emotional Support. Please continue to provide emotional support to Adeline, to Francis’ family, and to one another during this difficult time. We live in a culture that does not do a great job of talking about grief and it can be hard to know what to say or do. We’ve been trying to live by the basics:

    • tell the person you are there to support them

    • be there for them in whatever stage of grief they are in even if you can’t understand it

    • try not to compare something you’ve experienced to what they are experiencing now - each person experiences loss differently

    • allow someone grieving to be sad or angry - don’t try to paint a bright picture, cheer them up, or tell them they are strong

    • listen, listen, listen

      We’ve published a page with some links to some resources we’ve found useful in learning to support others through grief and in dealing with our own. We hope they will be helpful to you too.